Myspace
and Internet Safety
One of the latest and
biggest fads for youth today include on-line networking websites like “myspace.”
MySpace.com and other similar sites are
designed to allow people to share their creativity, pictures and information
with others. Myspace is so popular that I have found joining myspace myself an
effective way to better get to know and communicate with the youth in our
church. I have even made a page just for our youth group:
http://groups.myspace.com/1stcov.
While myspace is mostly fun and harmless (I have been able to get in touch with
a number of friends myself), like everything designed for good, humans have
twisted it and some have used it to harm others. I encourage parents to be
informed about your child’s on-line activity and to hold them accountable for
being responsible with what they share on-line. There is no need to be sneaky
either. Let your kids know that you want to periodically check out their
on-line profiles to make sure they are being safe and wise. This is “public”
information, so our youth need to understand that anyone can view what he or she
is posting on myspace, including and especially their parents! You may be
impressed with how creative and open your child is with their friends on-line,
or you may be concern with what you find.
“The best way to find out if your child has a profile on this
or another similar site is to ask them. If you’re not sure that your child is
being honest with you, you can search MySpace.com using their name, e-mail
address, or by searching for their school. (You click on “search” and enter
their email address or full name in the appropriate search box.) If you find
that your child has a profile on the website, you should review it. It’s amazing
how much you can learn about your child by reading their profiles. Does it
contain personal information, such as their full name, address or phone numbers?
Has your child posted photos? Are they photos of themselves or someone else? Are
they sharing poems they write or provocative comments about themselves or
others?
Ask them why they created
the profile. You might learn that they wanted to share their thoughts with
others, make new friends or even allow others in their school to get to know
them better. But not all of their motives are as noble or safe. Some may be
interested in meeting new romantic interests or role-playing inappropriately
online. And when a young preteen lies about their age posing as a seventeen year
old at the site, that can be a serious problem. Others in their late teens might
approach your child thinking they were older. That’s bad for everyone.
If you discover that your
child is posting provocative comments or inappropriate images online, it’s time
for the tough talk. The one about stranger dangers and how that cute eighteen
year old boy they meet online may not be cute, may not be eighteen and may not
be a boy. (Parents of young boys need to understand that their children are
equally at risk. About one-third of the cases of Internet sexual exploitation
are men exploiting boys.) Our children need to realize that there are real risks
relating to meeting strangers offline, including murder.
It’s not easy raising
children anymore. It is even harder when the parent is expected to be expert in
Internet, cell phone and interactive game risks. The good thing is that you’re
not facing these challenges alone. We’re here to help.
Just remember that while
your kids may know more than you do about technology, you know more about life.
And you are allowed to set the rules and enforce them. You’re still the parent!
There is software you can install that will record what your kids say and post
online. There is even one that will e-mail you reports at work. The ones I like
best are made by Spectorsoft, and can be found at
software4parents.com or
spectorsoft.com. But don’t use them just to spy on your kids. Treat them
like a security video camera in the corner of a bank. No one views the tapes
unless and until there is a break-in. Do the same here. Check the program
reports if something goes wrong. It will collect whatever you need for evidence
and to help your child if something goes wrong.
Also, check your parental
control programs. Many, such as AOL’s and MSN’s, can block access to
social-networking websites or other sites you think are inappropriate for your
younger child. There are many other products you can purchase to block sites as
well. (Check out
software4parents.com to learn about and purchase some of these.) Just
remember that the best filter is the one between your children’s ears."
For more information on
keeping your kids safe on-line see:
StopCyberbullying.org
InternetSuperheroes.org
WiredSafety.org
WiredKids.org
Teenangels.org
With much love for your kids,
Melanie Menge
Director
of Youth Ministries
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